Okay, I'm a little angry at Homeworld 2 right about now after wasting almost forty five minutes just trying to complete the second mission and in general, hundreds of RTS games who more or less have used the same sort of attempts at gameplay that makes me want to punch them in the face with steel gloves with sharp rusty spikes on the knuckles covered with the Ebola Virus.
So below is a list of things in RTS Mission Campaigns that piss me off and make me want to hurl something in the wall in general frustration when I fail the goddamn mission for the fortieth time forcing me use to cheats just to get to the less crappy parts of the campaign. Pay attention future game developers:
The Frustrating As Hell Escort Mission:
The plot of the damn story usually at the early part or middle parts of the games campaign ALWAYS sticks you with some weak ass convoy or units to escort in the middle of a dangerous war zone. Excuse me, But I am the Goddamn Head Commander General of the Pwnsauce National Gun Bang Armed Forces! I am not a goddamn baby sitter. I REFUSE to escort this tiny, slow weakass bunch of units through the RTS version of Baghdad and former Yugoslavia combined. Couldn't you morons in HQ stick this on somebody else? Or, GASP send me to clear this oddly small but heavily held bit of enemy land to the objective and bring the fricking escort later? Why do you NEED to use lightly armoured barely armed vehicles when we can haul this stuff on the back of a plane or something anyway?
The Time Limit:
Gaming is about relaxing, and taking ones time while enjoying myself. So the last goddamn thing I need to is quickly rush and grind out troops, gather resources and get my shit together in only THREE MINUTES before a massive, heavily experienced and odd undetectable to the last second sweeps and crashes into my base while HQ demands me to hurry up. Goddamit, this isn't fun! Time Limits are never fun! Who ACTUALLY likes being rushed in real life? Nobody but sado-masochists I suspect. How about some goddamn recon for a change HQ? Or a decent amount of resources for a decent defence to be slapped together instead just the contents of my piggy bank.
Terribly coded and dumb as a brickwall AI:
Oh goodie, Reinforcements! The cavalry has arrived! we're not going to die! Wait, why are they just standing there, scratching there ass? We're getting overwhelmed down here. Keep going you dumb bastards! NO, DON'T CHARGE TOWARDS THEIR BASE YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM NO NO NO ARGH! Mission Failure!? Seriously, The arrival of your buddies is SUPPOSE to be good a sign that the tide of battle is turning for you at last. Instead, you usually get some meagre forces that somehow think that their Commander is just as good as the main characters and suicide charge either the enemy HQ and their overwhelming numbers and wipe themselves out. They have an annoying habit of standing or leaning against the Escort ignoring the enemy smashing it or getting stuck in the scenery. Instead of hope, we end up with bloody stupid cannon fodder. Just give us new resources instead, HQ.
Endless Objectives:
Nothing is more irritating that arriving on the battlefield, Army freshly assembled and resources strongly rolling it when HQ phones up and changes PWN TEH ENEMY to a massive weekly sized shopping list of main and miniature objectives. Stupidly, 75% of them require you to complete these to the maximum result or suffer the inevitable and punishing mission failure screen and a bruised knuckles for abusing your monitor in the face in frustration. This attempt to mimic the changing face of warfare fails simply because in real life, Napoleon did not have to rescue fifty men unarmed men and their Caravans, Defend several Columns and fight the whole Battle of Austerlitz on his goddamn head.
The AI Backstab:
So, it seems we're finally winning the battle at last right? We've just overcame the cowardly and weak Supply Train Escort, built out defences up, dragged the AI Reinforcements to not kill themselves all at once and JUST managed to finish the ever growing list of must complete tasks. All clear from here right? Nope, prepare for the Allies that sent you the earlier reinforcements to turn on you and send an equally large hoard of enemy soldiers alongside the enemy. Both the enemy and traitor AI will gang up beautifully and crush you in an unstoppable tide of onslaught.
Done! Now RTS Developers, learn to fix your campaigns by removing all crap like these or consider my long time love of RTS gaming dead. And than means, I won't be buying anymore.
Showing posts with label Cossacks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cossacks. Show all posts
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Praising Mods!
I love the Mod. That is, Game Modification not the Mod Sub-Culture that originated from the sixties (Mod Wolves are quite a different matter).
My purchases of PC Games have several factors (Re-Playability, Originality, Fun, Specs and Modding if you want the full list) and if a game is more or less open for the successful community that follows to use the tools to transform it into something better or completely different then, Game Developers you've got my sold. Mods are the extreme version of customisation in gaming which also appeals to me.
The first ever Mod I cut my teeth on, what the originally named mod called Mod 1, For Cossacks European Wars (And the Art of War Expansion) which reskinned a huge amount of units and added several more. I was so overjoyed the mass armies of Clone Pikemen and Musket Infantry were gone I cried. At last, many men in the armies of European Wars would not should men on their on side because the blood on their identikit uniforms made them look like the Generic European Red Army.
It also gave me three more cannons. Anything with old fashioned Cannons is awesome. Trust me on this.
Then came Forgotten Hope, for BF1942. I caught the 2nd or 3rd Beta release and it was a pretty big damn Mod. It should be. As much as I loved Battlefield 1942, I hate the rushed design of the 2nd World War (Damn you EA!) , Unrealistic Weapon fire, Tanks with Cardboard armour and Russians not having the PPSh. Downloading the the thing and updates for it was always a hassle, but I think it was worth it because the amount of detail with new armour, weapons and heavily detailed maps based on proper Battles of the 2nd World War was so damn worth it. It also unlocked and added several voice commands for the Axis and Allies as well as introducing the Aussies with the best voice Commands of all. FH plans to return in Battlefield 2 and possibly will be ported over to BF3 (ugh).
Another good Mod? The Creators of Terrae Expungnae for Rome: Total War demand Medals and several Awards for gaming alone. Vanilla Rome Total War is fun, But at times you want tear your hair out at the whacky. Who skinned these Romans? Why is Rome a three state nation!? WTF! PIGS!? DOGS!? Thankfully, TE removed all that rubbish. It also re skinned all the armies, united Rome, added several more factions and revamped the more silly ones (The Egypt is now, thank god Grecian Themed like it was back them instead of Komedy Asterix) made the Campaign Map much much bigger (Right up to India) and tweaked Combat Values with the Units themselves to make it more epic. They also redid the Battlefields in the new map, making each one unique. Worth getting if you want an epic, easier and less silly game of RTW.
The Cinematic Mod of Max Payne is also quite fun. Max swaps his battered leather jacket for a sweeping post Matrix Gun-Fu Trench Coat, shade and stubble as does Mona albeit both contract a lethal form of RSI for holding those heavy hand guns (Trust me, when you unarmed or using the knuckle duster you will know what I mean) and get a load of new guns as well as some excellently reskinned weapons from the usual game. The Minigun and Colt Magnum will be your favourites, they were mine. Also, Bullet time comes with some epic music now and baddies squirt anime-esqe amounts of blood all over the place. Movie epicness in a can.
Star Wars fans, embittered by the odd blandness of Empire At War and the Prequal coat tail rider of the Expansion? Dispair ye not! Empire at War has several promising mods being made our touched up right now, including a Realism Mod (Phoenix Rising) an Extra Content Mod (Steiners Units) or total Conversions that let you play in the Stargate and Battlestar Galactica Universes. Star Wars mods are quite common on both FPS and RTS platforms.
Speaking of Star Wars, tired of the tacky Multiplayer modes in Jedi Academy? Get Movie Battles 2 and enjoying flying around Movie Authentic Maps setting Jedi alight with your Mandalorian Flamethrower. Go on, treat yourself. Just stay clear of those damn Jedi Lightsabers. Different combat system or not, dismemberment still hurts.
Games so open to modding also spawn excellent mini mods, some games like the Garrys Mod and Civ IV evidently show this on their Mod Content Download sites. Modding has even spread to MMO games, like WoW with its crazy client side interface mods and hilarious nude skins. Second Life, The slightly original but slightly creepy at times MMO is infamous for the Modability of it. That is a word now people. On my blog at least.
Even TF2 already has a number of client side mods and tweaked Server Mods coming out now.
I wonder in the history of Modding, has anyone considered going back and Pimping out, let say, Pong. Repaint that white Rectangle Neon Green, make the sound effects scream AWESOME WICKED SICK instead of bleeping when your oppoment doesn't hit back.
I could rant for hours about good Mods, but I don't have the time. Occasional I will do a Mod Mini Review here on this blog, but for now simply check out Mod DB and look out for something you like.
My purchases of PC Games have several factors (Re-Playability, Originality, Fun, Specs and Modding if you want the full list) and if a game is more or less open for the successful community that follows to use the tools to transform it into something better or completely different then, Game Developers you've got my sold. Mods are the extreme version of customisation in gaming which also appeals to me.
The first ever Mod I cut my teeth on, what the originally named mod called Mod 1, For Cossacks European Wars (And the Art of War Expansion) which reskinned a huge amount of units and added several more. I was so overjoyed the mass armies of Clone Pikemen and Musket Infantry were gone I cried. At last, many men in the armies of European Wars would not should men on their on side because the blood on their identikit uniforms made them look like the Generic European Red Army.
It also gave me three more cannons. Anything with old fashioned Cannons is awesome. Trust me on this.
Then came Forgotten Hope, for BF1942. I caught the 2nd or 3rd Beta release and it was a pretty big damn Mod. It should be. As much as I loved Battlefield 1942, I hate the rushed design of the 2nd World War (Damn you EA!) , Unrealistic Weapon fire, Tanks with Cardboard armour and Russians not having the PPSh. Downloading the the thing and updates for it was always a hassle, but I think it was worth it because the amount of detail with new armour, weapons and heavily detailed maps based on proper Battles of the 2nd World War was so damn worth it. It also unlocked and added several voice commands for the Axis and Allies as well as introducing the Aussies with the best voice Commands of all. FH plans to return in Battlefield 2 and possibly will be ported over to BF3 (ugh).
Another good Mod? The Creators of Terrae Expungnae for Rome: Total War demand Medals and several Awards for gaming alone. Vanilla Rome Total War is fun, But at times you want tear your hair out at the whacky. Who skinned these Romans? Why is Rome a three state nation!? WTF! PIGS!? DOGS!? Thankfully, TE removed all that rubbish. It also re skinned all the armies, united Rome, added several more factions and revamped the more silly ones (The Egypt is now, thank god Grecian Themed like it was back them instead of Komedy Asterix) made the Campaign Map much much bigger (Right up to India) and tweaked Combat Values with the Units themselves to make it more epic. They also redid the Battlefields in the new map, making each one unique. Worth getting if you want an epic, easier and less silly game of RTW.
The Cinematic Mod of Max Payne is also quite fun. Max swaps his battered leather jacket for a sweeping post Matrix Gun-Fu Trench Coat, shade and stubble as does Mona albeit both contract a lethal form of RSI for holding those heavy hand guns (Trust me, when you unarmed or using the knuckle duster you will know what I mean) and get a load of new guns as well as some excellently reskinned weapons from the usual game. The Minigun and Colt Magnum will be your favourites, they were mine. Also, Bullet time comes with some epic music now and baddies squirt anime-esqe amounts of blood all over the place. Movie epicness in a can.
Star Wars fans, embittered by the odd blandness of Empire At War and the Prequal coat tail rider of the Expansion? Dispair ye not! Empire at War has several promising mods being made our touched up right now, including a Realism Mod (Phoenix Rising) an Extra Content Mod (Steiners Units) or total Conversions that let you play in the Stargate and Battlestar Galactica Universes. Star Wars mods are quite common on both FPS and RTS platforms.
Speaking of Star Wars, tired of the tacky Multiplayer modes in Jedi Academy? Get Movie Battles 2 and enjoying flying around Movie Authentic Maps setting Jedi alight with your Mandalorian Flamethrower. Go on, treat yourself. Just stay clear of those damn Jedi Lightsabers. Different combat system or not, dismemberment still hurts.
Games so open to modding also spawn excellent mini mods, some games like the Garrys Mod and Civ IV evidently show this on their Mod Content Download sites. Modding has even spread to MMO games, like WoW with its crazy client side interface mods and hilarious nude skins. Second Life, The slightly original but slightly creepy at times MMO is infamous for the Modability of it. That is a word now people. On my blog at least.
Even TF2 already has a number of client side mods and tweaked Server Mods coming out now.
I wonder in the history of Modding, has anyone considered going back and Pimping out, let say, Pong. Repaint that white Rectangle Neon Green, make the sound effects scream AWESOME WICKED SICK instead of bleeping when your oppoment doesn't hit back.
I could rant for hours about good Mods, but I don't have the time. Occasional I will do a Mod Mini Review here on this blog, but for now simply check out Mod DB and look out for something you like.
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